Curse of God, In the year 1947, The Mother Of India had slited out of enguis, hatred o

Oh, Mother of India, I apologise to you dear Mother, on name Independence,  out rage, hatered, angiuse, retaliate, eye for eyes during the Partition of India, all the Communities for their suprememesy, they had became frenzies,  set out the fire to blaze the neighbour's houses, brutely killev thp

QUEST FOR TRUTH

Truth of life only to realize sat-chit-ananda, experiencing the bliss and to love the LORD, YES I AM FORTUNATE BEING LOVED BY LORD AND GRACED BY HIM, ONLY PRAY WITH TEARS FOR HIS GRACE. AGAIN I WANT TO BORN TO LOVE MY BELOVED LORD SRI RAMAKRISHNA DEV. I appeal to all please love the LORD and mankind, only love would solve all problems, I pray to my LORD for the welfare for all, regards PRANAM to my LORD SRIRAMAKRISHNADEV.

MY PASSION OF POETRY

MY PASSION OF POETRIES


My passion of poetries, saved, rescued me, really it is pleasure to read poetries, I create a den where I am hiding, like an arachnid, spider as belong to a spider-web, I shrouded, wrapped up myself, in own imaginary or fantasy’s world .
I quoted few lines from poetries,

I thank all who have loved me in their hearts
With thanks and love from mine.
Deep thanks to all. [ E. B. BROWNING—LOVE TO THEE-XLIII]
God said, let there be light, there was light. [ROSSETTI –AT THE SUNRISE IN1848]
Then heard we sounds as though the Earth did sing ---
In the poem SUDDEN LIGHT, Rossetti, WROTE—I have beenhere before, \ But when or who I cannot tell: \ I know the grass beyond the door, \The sweet keen smell, \The sighing sound, the lights around the shore. [ some where ,some when I may also felt such, I wont know whether it’s present life or previous, who confirm?]Poet SWINBURNE wrote in the poem HERTAA---God changes, and man, and the form of them bodily; I am the soul---- God trembles in heaven, and his angels are white with the terror of God. [ Terrorism always threatening since man born, to survive being survivor as ruler, or servitude, only to surviving---]
Not that the earth is changing of, O my God
NOR THAT THE SEASONS TOLLER IN THEIR WALK—
,,,THAT THE EARTH FALLS ASUNDER, BEING OLD.
Friends, here the world my wondering thoughts would says
And cast them into

GOD SLEW BY ME- A CONFIDED CONFESSION

Why God has left me behind, though I am a slave of God, He would not graced or blessed me, He turned tail from me in turmoil, I had have been praying, crying, tears shedding on my cheeks. Alas, He has never, ever pity for me. I was becoming a profane, disbelieve the God presence, but I knew on my subconscious, I am very much conscious, HIS MANIFESTATION, compassion, in everywhere, and to everyone. Yes I know I am hypocrite, I always hiding my own real feelings. I afraid myself, suffering acute depression since my boyhood, I failed to commit suicide. I attempted five times. First due my father’s ill treatment towards me and all others, next liabilities of a large families consisting ten brothers and sisters, father ,mother and maternal mother ganny .After unfortunate marriage at the age forty, with a women was suffering of psychosis- --psychopath --psyjophenia patient before her marriage, a close relative of her family for the bribe had done the conspiracy , only I curse them. Each and everyone advised, me to divorce her, but I cold not. Yes I was stunned to see her in lunatic condition, somehow I consoled myself, it was my sin of previous birth, though I was sometime agitated, angry against myself. I had carried out to serve my ailing wife last thirty years, as a result iam becoming acute patient of psycho.

Here i am to confess, but to whom i confess? who is my confessor, is one confidant? I confess to myself, before my departure. Yes i am baring to myself, even stark naked to all. I WON'T CARE ANYONE, who cares for me? None, i brought up without care among four brothers and six sisters .
I sit before myself, as we saw ourselves on mirror, i stare to me ,a old fool, suffering from disease, continuous bleeding, tears rolls on and on. I know all would stigmatized me stigmata am i? so i am fabulous and imbecile. -->

When I unveil, the unpleasant incidents of my lost days, I have to repent, terribly, trembling with tears, terror always chased me since my early childhood, but I was to fool too be happy-go-lucky, lucky in sense irony-. We were residing a slum- barrack, soldiers left away, after second world -war, with other refugees from East Pakistan, my father had got shelter, as married to a refugee girl. We were playing hide and seek, thieves and polices, or husband and wife, play of family lives. I was a little child so, had to suck the nipple of small breast of aged girl who had played as my mother, I refused, due to smell of sweat, then I was severely slapped.

Though my father was belonged to old north Calcutta, Darjipara he was very boyhood motherless, spoiled, notorious and had seduced a refugee young beautiful fatherless helpless girl of sweet sixteen. My mother was so beautiful, lustful lecherous debouches were licking with their eyes to unbarred mother. Some other had dared to touch her, it was inflamed me to resist, failed be annoyed

When I unveil, the unpleasant incidents of my lost days, I have to repent, terribly, trembling with tears, terror always chased me since my early childhood, but I was to fool too be happy-go-lucky, lucky in sense irony-. We were residing a slum- barrack, soldiers left away, after second world -war, with other refugees from East Pakistan, my father had got shelter, as married to a refugee girl. We were playing hide and seek, thieves and polices, or husband and wife, play of family lives. I was a little child so, had to suck the nipple of small breast of aged girl who had played as my mother, I refused, due to smell of sweat, then I was severely slapped.
Though my father was belonged to old north Calcutta, Darjipara he was very boyhood motherless, spoiled, and notorious and had seduced a refugee young beautiful fatherless helpless girl of sweet sixteen, from Khulna East Pakistan then. On her dialect tune she has had been repeating the horrible story of riot after a revengeful retaliation as a result of THE GREAT CALCUTTA KILING ON THE DAY OF DIRECT ACTION AT CALCUTTA, not only for religious sentiment, on the name of religion and God. Political power and empowerment to rule the country, our beloved country, and our mother land
was divided in two parts, Hindustan and Pakistan. Saddest incidents had happened everywhere, annoyed riotous, frenzies, of both Hindu and Muslims, being fanatic as fundamentalists they were robbed, rapped, blazed the temples and mosques along with thousands homes and huts mills and from buildings of Government and public properties had looted, human being were became the beggars and prostitutes, million people turn into corpse or refuges who were forced to runaway, uprooted, from their own mother land. Thousands souls told their terrible, aggravated, heartless unpleasant incidents, they had crossed, on the way daughters sons fathers mothers and others lost their closed beloved. My mother as young girl of sixteen, had to take shelter in the pond whole night, under water in dip, next night in the nearby bush Cochubon fanimansha, afraid of rapist or snake’s bite--- heart throbbing experienced she was.
Even after sixty years passed away, I could easily memorized my mother eyes with tears-----poem--



My mother was so beautiful, her golden skin, well shaped, curbed with dark large eyes, on her eyes I saw waves of blue ocean, as jhuries or branches of banyan tree her dip dark long hair, on bed I played with such hairs--, the same was replayed with my first lover my love Sunayana means who has very beautiful eyes—poem---


lustful lecherous debouches were licking with their eyes to unbarred mother. Some other had dared to touch her, it was inflamed me to resist, but failed be annoyed and wound up sometime.


Since my very childhood I had have done nothing wrong, never I hard anyone, scared always, but in vain everyone scolded, struck me without reasons, they had behaved brutally beat me severely they assailed. I SAW ON THEIR EYES THE GHOULISH JOY, THEIR HELLISH HOWLING yet even today echoed to my ears a deep penetration of sorrow ruined me, hatred to all raised, think all are not human being, lok nap ok poka insects, I commit nuisance to their good or bad comments, I won’t care anyone being self centered. I am satisfying myself in my own way, am withdrawing myself from others,
I had have been becoming very unsocial, due to decease, everyone misunderstood me, I am very tired, no one near to me, on who’s shoulder, I could take rest, none, none, I am laying on sea shore upon the sands under the burning sun, sun shine.